We have this neighbor. He refuses to follow the rules. He *might* be engaging in some illicit activities at his home, based on the sheer amount of very late night visitors. I may have mentioned him before. Apparently he has a giant penis too. Does that mean anything? I don’t know if that means anything. Anyway. We have this rule where we live about the parking. It’s either in your garage, a designated space, or towed. Now I have seen folks getting towed. We happen to live near a popular public venue, so when push comes to shove towing does happen. But not to our neighbor. He is a bit famous in an ‘E’ or ‘F’’ list kinda way here in town. An ex football player. Seems the rules don’t always apply. Oddly though, when they do, he plays the fame or race card really fast.

Our only issue with the man is that he refuses to have his guests park right. They pull up into what seems like his driveway, but it is also our front stoop. If you where wheelchair bound and he had company you would not be able to enter our home. We have oil spots outside to prove it. Our only recourse is to enforce the parking regulations set by the homeowners association. Of course Richard does this like religion. I always am the one trying to avoid confrontation. I remind him about the consequences of pissed off neighbors (IE. keyed cars, graffiti, noise complaints, punched noses, ect…) He pays me no mind and calls security on the miss-parked cars every day.

I in turn live in fear of our well endowed yet large and strong neighbor. (Don’t ask how we know that. I was not the one peeking thru the fence at the drunken hot tub party.) He gets more angry every time the tow truck arrives and he has to pay for yet another mindless guest parking wrong. Really wrong, like a legit space was open ten feet away! Tonight he was trying to figure who was calling and ratting him out. The security wuss was not going to give all that out, at first… Our giant well endowed neighbor got all protective of his.. erm, date/customer and got mean. The intimidated security guy gave the area code. To Richard’s cell phone. Now I don’t know a lot about cell phone companies, but if you were a retired jock who owned one, don’t you think you’d have some nerd in the back that could figure out what phones close to which cell towers had what area codes, and then see who’s they where? Am I paranoid? This man is going to kill us. I am sure of it. He has already brazenly hinted to me that he knows we are the ones complaining about him. And in a mean way too. Bitch. And he seems so nice when you talk to him… 

Anyhoo. Something is not right with the whole situation and the goings on over there… I used to do the drugs. I know what that mess looks like when out shopping for more drugs. I don’t want that going on next door.

tagged: drugs neighbor security complaint in the hood