Okay so, remember when I was after a new cologne and posted the Tom Ford fragrance ad? Well here it is again in case you forgot. Be sure to take a look so you can compare and contrast an artists… remake? Re-do? Take? Check it out!

Fragrance via Popbitch.

Okay… Which is better? Heh!

tagged: links crotch cologne fragrance flesh tom ford

So… yeah. What to sayabout my birthday? I wasn’t sure. So I looked back in the archives. It appears that back when I used to be able to barter for the day off I really didn’t do much. Take 2005 as an example:

I slept in until a luxurious 10 am. I leisurely had breakfast while read blogs. Next, I vacuumed the whole house, starting at the bottom. (I don’t like to vacuum stairs while walking down backwards. I feel like I’ll fall down.) After that I cleaned up the garage a bit. I wanted to make sure all the Christmas decor fits back into the shelves. There’s so much mare this year!

After that, I threw out the poinsettias. They had lost way too many leaves to be considered healthy. While I was at it I put away the fake one that the cat always chews on. The UPS guy rang the bell, but he must have been in a hurry because he was gone before I got to the door. I was instead greeted by a box from Amazon! It was a gift from 2 of my good online friends (that I almost met in person once). Thank you soo much! It’s just what I wanted… Then I got dressed. I took my time because I had nowhere to be. I didn’t shave though, and I wish I had because now I have to today.

It was a bit after 2 when Richard got home from work. He was on the 4am to 2pm. He was very tired. We went to Target. Bickered. Went to Chevy’s for cocktails and take-out. When we got home we bickered while eating, watched Elf, and Richard went to bed. He had already been sleeping in his chair. This was like 8 or 9. I watched what was probably a re-run of Joey and downloaded a Wanda Wisdom podcast and went to bed. I listened to Wanda for about an hour before falling to sleep myself.

I think that’s everything.

Um. So yeah. This year, like the last, I worked instead. At least I wasn’t home alone plotting Christmas crap storage. Good lawd. Speaking of last year, let’s continue with the ghost of birthdays past and take a look:

Here at the home front not much happened. I woke up, dressed, went to work, survived a day of retail in December, and came home to an empty house. Richard did bring home some Chevy’s take-out, which was nice. And for the special occasion I got flan. Not that I didn’t appreciate the flan. Lawd knows I love a good flan!

Sheesh. Is December over yet? Stick a fork in me people. I am done.

So it turns out, after all my feeling sorry for myself… (I know, I suck!) This year’s b’day was better than I have had since my arrival in San Diego. Before bed on the 21st I got an e-card from one of my first online friends. The next day, I woke to a lovely e-card from a local friend reminding me that “no matter what, I own the day”. Something like that anyway, and while I love the idea behind that sentiment, my company owned the day, like so many other days. I had to work. Heh. But I loved the card! I also had not one but TWO iTunes gift certificates! I adore iTunes almost as much as I adore the fine folk that gifted me. Thanks Brian and soapbox.SUPERSTAR!! You guys rock for looking after me like you do. I appreciate it! Then, yeah. I was off to work again. When I got home there were chores undone that I had to do. I was still feeling sorry for myself. I got a bit cranky. Sad, I know, but December is a cruel little bitch that torments my mind! But I finished up and went upstairs and got all cute for my dinner date with Richard. We went to our usual mexican place, Jimmy Carter’s. It was not busy. We had a relaxed meal. On the way home Richard surprised me with a package, but would not let me open it. We never do gifts. I was a bit surprised.

Once we got home I was allowed to open it. It was Tom Ford! Well, Tom’s fragrance. Remember how I fell in love like with it, even though the ad was kinda raunchy? Well later that day as I wore it I became obsessed with the stuff. But I couldn’t find it at my mall, and am not shopping for fun this month… But now I have it. A really big bottle too. This size would have covered that model’s crotch a bit better…

Anyhoo. So yeah. With a little perspective and support from friends, I managed to have a nice birthday. I thank you. 

tagged: work richard retail itunes bitch birthday friends chores december crotch

Okay, this has nothing to do with the holiday. I realize this. However, doesn’t it remind you about how thankful you are to have eyes? Let’s take a moment, shall we? *sigh* This man has the dp.com seal of approval. (I think that would make a great tattoo, don’t you? Like my signature on an ass. Cabbage Patch-ish only pornier.)

You knew we were voting, right?! We are. For the new face crotch MAN of Armani A|X! There is no other choice! Wait, actually there is. There’s the guy clearly missing ribs. He’s not that cute. Ew. Then there’s the shaved headed guy. He’s hawt in that come-and-do-me kinda way… Ooh er! Come on tho! Ryan is clearly the hawtest, total package kinda guy. He has hair, a great face, all his ribs (I have a friend that counted), and the mystery of the less revealing black briefs. Exciting! So you have to take 2.2 seconds to register. Don’t you want pretty ads in your magazines? Go vote! 

tagged: holiday hawt people pretty ew crotch face vote nipples package

So I had to go to the grocery after work. I tell you that Ralphs is a whole different place at the after work hour. It’s all packed and junk! Ew. Anyway, I had to get a few things for dinner. We were going to have Taco Salad. Mmm. Good, but it was the second night in a row. Healthy eating is tough yo. At any rate, most of what I needed was in the produce section, so I moseyed over. I selected my avocado, radishes, and mushrooms. Next up was the green onions. As I grabbed a plastic bag to put them in I distinctly heard a pucker noise, like you make when you kiss someone. I looked around, but there was only me and this kinda jock looking guy in a wind suit in that section. He was apparently focused on the pepper selection, so I figured it was just me going crazy or some other random thing. Weird. I made my way across the busy store to my next stop. People sure are dressed nice for the shopping at that hour! I guess it’s cause we all came from work. As I pass the aisles I like to look down them to see if I remember needing anything. As I looked down ‘personal care’ I saw this stocky guy in some kind of uniform who looked like he was sorta stroking his… erm, crotch area as he gazed at the shelves. Oh. I looked away and hurried over to the chips… A Taco Salad is not right without a bit of tortilla chips crumbled in, healthy eating or not! My last selection made I bee lined to the express lane. All the other were like 5 deep, but at my moment there was no one but the gal being rung up in the 10 items or less lane! My joy was quickly stifled as I realized that the cashier was MIA. It took just a moment to see him rushing back with a pack of cigarettes. Well at least that was done, right? Wait, the gal is shaking her head. He got the wrong kind. Yep, she sent him back. It seemed she wanted the Ultra-lights but NOT menthol. Hrm. Taking longer this time, he must have been reading every label to double check, he finally came back. Nope, wrong again. Forgot SLIMS. ‘Oh my gaaawd’ (and I said that OUT LOUD.. Oops!) She looked back at the now 12 people in line and cutely shrugged, “Sorry...” I looked at her with with what I hoped were daggers that would cause pain. ‘Stupid dirty habit that will kill you anyway. You’ll get yours. Hoor.’

tagged: grocery hoor crotch bad service smoker taco salad 10 items or less relieved to be home