OMG! LOL!
Puzzle Farter (via). A platform puzzle game where you have to use the power of your farts! LOL!

tagged: links funny fart online game

All I wanted was my dry cleaning. I was dropping off, as well as picking up. I go to the same place all the time. It’s handy. Right next to my grocery store. I think I need a new place… Anyway, so I walk in and one of the usual young gals greets me. Not the pretty one, but the other one. So she steps over to the counter and starts to like process my transaction. How many, laundry or dry clean, etc. All pretty normal. But then she suddenly looked a bit pained and hammered at her chest. “Excuse me! I am not used to drinking Sprite.” Okay, ew. Gross. But I tried to be nice and chuckled. Wrong move on my part. She began to talk about how she once burped totally loud in front of a customer and had to ‘pretend’ to be embarrassed and like lady-like, but she really wasn’t cause it ‘felt so good’.

Oh. My. Gaaawd.

So there I am, trapped as she goes on about her gas issues. “Sometimes when I am sitting at home I just totally let it out. I don’t care which end it comes out, it all feels so good.” Wait, lemme repeat that in bold, for effect: “I don’t care which end it comes out, it all feels so good”. At this point I was convinced the place smelled funny. It was so hard to be polite and ignore the whole thing. Cause that is what I usually do when someone, even close friends say inappropriate things. I ignore it and change the subject. No, this time I wanted only to leave. But I was a bit trapped. Thank god they always keep the door propped open. Heh, now I know why!

How to I find these people?

tagged: laundry ew grocery gas fart dry cleaner gross gal burp

Okay, I’m at the gym, just doin’ my cardio thing. This lil’ gym sleeze gets on the machine next to me… You all know the type. Fully did up with the hair going on, a ton of make-up. I mean really, doesn’t it drip into your eyes when you sweat? So she was hardly wearing anything, and really working it on the machine. Any way, we’re just doing our thing, and suddenly I hear a little “TooT” for her way. Clearly it was her, cause the gal on the other side heard it too. She just kept on going. No “excuse me” or anything.

So now I’ve got my gym towel over my nose. All the machines were taken, so I had no escape. The other gal was trying not to laugh. Sleezy finally went away. (presumably to the restroom…) I was so happy when a friend from work took that stairmaster. What if she came back?

tagged: gym fart poop sleeze