All I wanted was my dry cleaning. I was dropping off, as well as picking up. I go to the same place all the time. It’s handy. Right next to my grocery store. I think I need a new place… Anyway, so I walk in and one of the usual young gals greets me. Not the pretty one, but the other one. So she steps over to the counter and starts to like process my transaction. How many, laundry or dry clean, etc. All pretty normal. But then she suddenly looked a bit pained and hammered at her chest. “Excuse me! I am not used to drinking Sprite.” Okay, ew. Gross. But I tried to be nice and chuckled. Wrong move on my part. She began to talk about how she once burped totally loud in front of a customer and had to ‘pretend’ to be embarrassed and like lady-like, but she really wasn’t cause it ‘felt so good’.

Oh. My. Gaaawd.

So there I am, trapped as she goes on about her gas issues. “Sometimes when I am sitting at home I just totally let it out. I don’t care which end it comes out, it all feels so good.” Wait, lemme repeat that in bold, for effect: “I don’t care which end it comes out, it all feels so good”. At this point I was convinced the place smelled funny. It was so hard to be polite and ignore the whole thing. Cause that is what I usually do when someone, even close friends say inappropriate things. I ignore it and change the subject. No, this time I wanted only to leave. But I was a bit trapped. Thank god they always keep the door propped open. Heh, now I know why!

How to I find these people?

tagged: laundry ew grocery gas fart dry cleaner gross gal burp

Here at dp.com we try to follow some basic hygiene ideals/rituals each day. It helps with feeling one’s best and staying… well, pretty. Right. Gay. I am gay, so it’s appropriate. I want to be pretty. Sue me. One thing I love to do is wash my face. Like most folk, right? Tonight it just wasn’t working out.

I had grabbed the washcloth hanging on the shower door like usual, I reuse it for a day or two, and started to get it all wet and soapy (I have a bit of the OCD as you may already know, and would never splash water on my face from the faucet because most of it ends up on the counter and mirror). Anyhoo, I suddenly have that moment where I recall that the washcloth I grabbed was soiled (my handy OCD again), so I hang it back up, since it was wet and dug out another from the bathroom drawer. Richard was already in bed, so I was doing this by the light of the teeny night light. I got the fresh washcloth wet and soapy and began washing my face. As I rubbed and scrubbed, I thought I smelled citrus. I looked down and noticed odd coloring on the washcloth. I turned on the bathroom light. It was then that I realized that I had just washed MY FACE with the dust-rag. The stained black Pledge smelling rag. Apparently SOMEONE that lives here had washed it with regular laundry and put it away with regular laundry. A dust-rag never really comes clean! Ew. Ew. Ew. I threw it into the shower.

I gave up on the luxury of any washcloth and reached under the sink for a roll of paper towels. The last safe option. I still feel a bit waxy. I think my skin is drying out too. And I still smell citrus.

What other items were washed with that nasty thing?? Bath towels? Dish towels? OMG! I am going to wash every towel we own this weekend.

tagged: ocd face gross dust-rag towel different wash cloth