I realize we all like to get it on and all. Really, I do. But at that volume? At 4:30 in the morning? I expect it from that guy, but from you two? Well, I was surprised, annoyed, and frankly I am blushing a bit.

Wow girl, you got some lungs!

tagged: sex noise neighbor

I got home from work this afternoon to a weird scene. The neighbor’s garage door was up. There were 2 gals in the driveway busily working on something… Luckily I had to put the trash cans out and get the mail, so I got to pass a few times. From what I could tell they were… cleaning his sneakers. But that’s not all! They were also photographing them. Now the man is a former athlete and has a lot of shoes. I mean a lot. Like hundreds. He’s pretty stylish. So I now wonder why this was going on. It’s actually bugging me. If I was on better terms with the man I’d have to ask him, but that won’t be happening.

Any ideas?

tagged: neighbor shoes sneakers strange behavior curious

My neighbor girls, well one of them at least… She’s totally getting fucked right now. I can hear her moaning and screaming from across the street. No, I am not mistaken. I heard it over my new iPod. Not to mention she is pretty vivid in her vocal descriptions of what’s happening to her. So unnecessarily loud actually, what with the windows open and all…

Ew.

tagged: sex loud hoor neighbor noisy grossed out

...and my neighbor has more than one drunk ho in his hot tub. You may be wondering how I know they are hos . Well, there are more than one. I also find that nice girls, ladies, or women rarely use the type of words I am hearing. And what is with the squealing? It is almost two in the morning for cry-eye! Ah well, I am not surprised, It’s normal for that self centered, self important, and selfish man to have this sort of thing going on. I am lucky Richard is asleep in the living room on the other side of the house. I was trying to get him off to bed, but then he’d be able to hear the craziness and call security. Or worse the police. It’s funny because that makes sense but it is the last thing I’d do. I mean I am all about confronting a problem, like at work where you can go away from it. When it’s someone who is ten feet away all the time that knows where you live and can fuck with your house, car, yard, pets, or you that I feel different. Those people are not to be messed with. We have had bad bad experiences with neighbors. Too many to rehash tonight.

Wait, that’s not why I started this… I have issues people! Richard and I would like to go on vacation at some point this year. Tonight he spoke to my brother and was working on this amazing itinerary when I got home from work. It included visiting my brother Boston, my parents in Florida, and side trips! Like New York and Miami! Sooo much fun and he had found really great prices. For this month. I can’t get the time off this month. You see a few weeks ago my store started taking management vacation requests. All of which are of course approved or denied based on advertising, events, department peaks (You run mens? Forget anything within a month of Father’s Day), and seniority. Most everyone has their weeks locked in at this point since Richard and I never talked about it. He thinks that it is a BS program, but it is the program in my place of work. So after he read off the East Coast Dream Vacation plan with timelines, dates, costs, and transportation I had to remind him of my situation. He immediately logged off the sites shouting about my being the one with issues, and him being done wasting time. Wow. Okay, let’s recap my side.. In my company, and industry it is typical for a request for time off to be approved or denied based on the needs of the business. Store managers (which I am not) have the right to add whatever stipulations they like, they are the ones approving. I am not at fault, nor can I change how the man in charge runs his store. But now I am the enemy. I am lame for putting up with that as well as other things at work every day. At any rate, in looking at the chart there are one or two weeks I might be able to get in mid summer. Florida is out because it will be miserable. In fact so will the entire east coast.

I hate traveling anyway. It’s too complicated to get the pets taken care of, and we always come back to a ton of chores. Plus I can never relax. By the time I do it’s time to go home. Meh.

tagged: richard vacation drunk family neighbor travel new york boston pto hos

We have this neighbor. He refuses to follow the rules. He *might* be engaging in some illicit activities at his home, based on the sheer amount of very late night visitors. I may have mentioned him before. Apparently he has a giant penis too. Does that mean anything? I don’t know if that means anything. Anyway. We have this rule where we live about the parking. It’s either in your garage, a designated space, or towed. Now I have seen folks getting towed. We happen to live near a popular public venue, so when push comes to shove towing does happen. But not to our neighbor. He is a bit famous in an ‘E’ or ‘F’’ list kinda way here in town. An ex football player. Seems the rules don’t always apply. Oddly though, when they do, he plays the fame or race card really fast.

Our only issue with the man is that he refuses to have his guests park right. They pull up into what seems like his driveway, but it is also our front stoop. If you where wheelchair bound and he had company you would not be able to enter our home. We have oil spots outside to prove it. Our only recourse is to enforce the parking regulations set by the homeowners association. Of course Richard does this like religion. I always am the one trying to avoid confrontation. I remind him about the consequences of pissed off neighbors (IE. keyed cars, graffiti, noise complaints, punched noses, ect…) He pays me no mind and calls security on the miss-parked cars every day.

I in turn live in fear of our well endowed yet large and strong neighbor. (Don’t ask how we know that. I was not the one peeking thru the fence at the drunken hot tub party.) He gets more angry every time the tow truck arrives and he has to pay for yet another mindless guest parking wrong. Really wrong, like a legit space was open ten feet away! Tonight he was trying to figure who was calling and ratting him out. The security wuss was not going to give all that out, at first… Our giant well endowed neighbor got all protective of his.. erm, date/customer and got mean. The intimidated security guy gave the area code. To Richard’s cell phone. Now I don’t know a lot about cell phone companies, but if you were a retired jock who owned one, don’t you think you’d have some nerd in the back that could figure out what phones close to which cell towers had what area codes, and then see who’s they where? Am I paranoid? This man is going to kill us. I am sure of it. He has already brazenly hinted to me that he knows we are the ones complaining about him. And in a mean way too. Bitch. And he seems so nice when you talk to him… 

Anyhoo. Something is not right with the whole situation and the goings on over there… I used to do the drugs. I know what that mess looks like when out shopping for more drugs. I don’t want that going on next door.

tagged: drugs neighbor security complaint in the hood

I am married to a pervert. You see, sometimes our ex-pro-football player neighbor has folks over to use his hot tub. The last time Richard witnessed two drunk women and the neighbor’s ... erm… large business. So tonight, it being a holiday and all Richard heard a hot tub bubbling somewhere and rushed out back to see if it was the neighbor. I guess he enjoyed the show the last time?? I was going to link to the last time, but there is far to many posts with ‘neighbor’ to dig through after so much champagne. Suffice it to say that it was comical the way Richard ran down the stairs and out the back door.

Anyhoo. I am married to a pervert. A pervert that is now calling me to bed. Heh. I think the bubbles went to his head.

tagged: richard neighbor pervert football player

Well, it seems we have an update. As of yesterday afternoon, the mysteriously chewed shoe is GONE! What?! How is a cat going to make off with a size 12 shoe? It has to be a larger creature. (It was funny though, Richard yelling in to the house that his shoe was gone again!)

I’m worried though, that it didn’t get far. That the shoe was dropped off in the neighbor’s yard. She will think we threw it or something! Embarrassing!

Keep your shoes inside to avoid outdoor creatures from chewing thew, or even worse… stealing them!

tagged: richard neighbor animal shoe fine