I woke up with one chore to do today. Clean the fish tank filter. I was up nice and early. As I was checking my email and sipping a nice cup of coffee I heard it.

Beep. Beep. Beep beep!

It was that damn washer again. It does this every now and again. I don’t know why. It was brilliantly designed by those Kenmore folk with no display. Anyway, the last time it did this beeping non-stop (usually it stops on it’s own) I had found a magical button combo to reset it. Did I write it down? Erm.. No. Of course not. So I lost like 30 minutes looking for it on the Google. Then I went down to try and ‘figure it out’. No luck. It was getting late so I went to my chore of the filter.

Beep. Beep. Beep beepbeep.

The filter thing went fast, although with all the beeping I was a bit annoyed. I put it back together and went to re-attach it to the tank. It filled with water, but wouldn’t prime and start. I pumped the little starter to get suction. Nothing. I pumped more.

Beep. Beep. Beeeeep.

After some time I gave up and tried to detach a hose to use my mouth to start it. The hose apparently had filled with water even though it wouldn’t prime. This water sprayed everywhere, drenching me and the immediate area of floor and inside the cabinet that houses the filter.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

So I unplug it altogether and take it back to the sink to drain it and try to start the process all over. Water of course drips along the way. I head bak to the tank, re-attach and try again. I pump the thing. Water leaks out from somewhere. The washer beeps. Finally it starts.

Beeeeep.

So I have cleaned up. I am running totally late (even later after blogging it). The washer is still beeping. 

tagged: google coffee fish washer running annoyed clean beep reset filter insane

There is no toilet running!

We have been living with a spontaneously running toilet in the downstairs bathroom for like the longest time. And it gets worse. The toilet upstairs would not stop running after you flush, so we’d have to wait around till the tank filled and reach in to shut the water off every time. Since forever! We put up with it for a few reasons… Plumbing and toilet parts are intimidating, and plumbers are sooo expensive. I even tried to fix it, but got scared at the last minute. Heh. With the water and the tank and the pipes and junk? It was too much. I can re-grout the shower, wash my own windows, things like that but no plumbing talent whatsoever. Richard is just as bad. So we lived with it. But today was the day we had had enough. A professional was called. It was, as expected, a bazillion dollars. (Sometimes I miss the apartment living with the in house maintenance guy...) And we found out that we have the super cheap-o toilets brand toilets.

Nice. With all the upgraded fixtures and materials the previous owners had put in, they sported the sub-par thrones at 89.99 a piece.

Oh, and today is the Super Tuesday as well as Mardi Gras? Crazy. I had no idea. Well I knew about the voting, but I voted absentee like a week ago, so I forgot.. 

tagged: richard house windows water running fix toilet super tuesday plumbing fat tuesday

Dude. Some of y’all have long ass addresses! Srsly! My hand is numb. Okay not really, but I am working on getting the cards out. So… If you have not signed up for the dp.com holiday Card Exchange™ time is really running out. I think we are on our last 48 hours yo. If yo are still interested, put your snail mail in this handy contact form. We will send a card. *wink* A sassy card even…

And if you haven’t updated your info, you may want to visit the aforementioned contact form as well. Keep me up to date so I can fill your box with cheer! Heh.

LAST CALL

Oh, and if you are just now trusting me with your info, and we haven’t met in comments or something… let’s chat yo. Tell me what your deal is

tagged: holiday time hours ass cards mail running date sassy box

Why am I doing this? One week ago, upon returning from work, I found that my house had been searched, (ripped apart, board by board). My wife is missing. I have no idea if she is alive. Upon retrieving my son from friends house, I learned that my name has appeared on a most wanted list for a crime I had nothing to do with.

I am now on the run with my son trying to put all of the bizarre pieces together.

i am [far from the truth] via Fimoculous.

On the run from the law and blogging it… Sounds about right to me. 

tagged: links blog murder running i am