“Will it ever come? And if it does come, will I still be human?”

Tomorrow is the big day. The trial regarding my issue last year. I was gonna link back, but it’s a lot of member’s only stuff so why bother? I was a victim. I am going to court. Finally. After a lot of drama and false alarms.. ‘Nuff said.

What does one wear to testify anyway? I mean, I want to look successful, as I will run into people I used to work with (dreading that). I also want to feel confidant on the stand. Supposedly this is ‘the big one’ with a jury and everything. I feel so Serial Mom. I should flash my crotch! Kidding. I kid. But really, I am thinking black pinstripe pants with a black shirt. All black. I love that look. No tie though. That way I am also comfortable. It’ll be hot in there, or at least I will be. I am sure that it’ll be worse than the preliminary bit I had to testify at last year, and I sweated like a whore in church for that one! I think it has to do with the fact that all the ‘defendant’s’ friends and family sat all over the courtroom. I had no safe place to look, you know. I hope that isn’t allowed at the real trial, that type of seating. It was really hard to not just shut my eyes the last time. Also the last time we were forced to wait in the same area as the family of the defendant. Talk about intimidating! They referred to us as ‘the fucking tattle tales’ on their cell phone calls to god knows who as we were waiting in the hallway outside the courtroom. I do not need that again. I really do not need that again. I will say something this time. I will. I feel more powerful now. 

tagged: drama member content subpoena outfit trial victim witness defendant downtown

Where to begin? In todays recording I cover my vacation, P!nk, Jamie Goodwin (my SYTYCD BFF), erm… my subpoena and upcoming court date, Twitter, Aunt Barbara, Babette Schwartz, and the Pride Night at Petco Park. Seems like a lot, but it’s a short show. Heh. And to think I thought I lost my podcast mojo…

tagged: podcast sytycd vacation aunt barbara florida pride jaimie goodwin subpoena kelly clarkson babette schwartz

LOL.

UPDATE: Edited into a member only post. 

tagged: internets subpoena tiredness court crime da law gunpoint don't ask don't ask

I am subpoena’d yet again. Someone hold me while I slit my wrists and spray blood over the district attorney. Bastard. I don’t even remember the fucking crime anymore. I blocked it out and drank a lot of booze to ensure that that part of my brain died. Leave me the fuck alone. Shit.

Goddamn. Take my advice people. NEVER call the police. I don’t care what happened to you. It is not worth a subpoena every time the piece of shit that did you wrong farts. It’s like never ending harassment. Here we are on my TENTH anniversary with my man and the day after I have to GO TO FUCKING COURT. AGAIN?? For the piece of shit criminal that NEVER shows up?? And if I don’t show up I get arrested?? Something is wrong with our system. Very wrong. I never asked for this. After all was said and done that night and I was still alive I just wanted to go home. I didn’t care of the fucks that did it lived or died.

But now I am tied to them forever.

tagged: work richard subpoena anniversary victim crime bastard court date angry

Specifically Law and Order. Yesterday an investigator was sent to my home demanding my whereabouts. Richard was a little freaked out but refused to tell him. It was because someone at the DA’s office did not get my message responding to that damn subpoena. And this is AFTER I found out that the trial may be pushed back again anyway… no one cancelled the deployment of the investigator. You’d think they’d be more organised. I could actually be put in jail if I do not respond to these and show up in court when they tell me. Heh. And I was the victim. Weird.

But life goes on, right? BTW I am up very early today. 3 AM to be exact. I have to be at work at 5. Ugh.

I am already looking forward to a nap…

tagged: work subpoena robbery

I could have sworn I woke up to the doorbell ringing. But as soon as I lifted my head I was totally unsure. You see I was having a really weird dream. There was a lot of dismemberment, some dark woods, and looking for someone. I have no idea how it all went together. Those things you dream right before waking are usually the oddest. I did have a feeling of dread and guilt though. Maybe this time I was the bad guy.

I was bummed to find that I forgot to start my last load of laundry last night. I was gonna try and do it this morning, but I have to stop off at the bank to pay rent. Hold on… phone.

Heh. Guess who that was! The San Diego D.A. office to let me know we may be postponing trial. What the hell? I just got a fresh subpoena yesterday! This kid must have an amazing lawyer. Everything is put off at least once.

Anyway, where was I? Oh. Laundry. Yeah. It’ll wait. Yesterday was too much fun to have remembered laundry! We stomped around the new mall, Otay Ranch Town Center. Is it a mall? More like a shopping town! It’s not even close to being finished either. I am very excited. It has an Apple Store. That alone is exciting! We had snacks at The Cheesecake Factory. Not my favorite for dinner, but the appetizers and cocktails are great!

Then we headed off to the grocery for a few items and then went home for a relaxing evening. I started reading Reichen’s book Here’s What We’ll Say. We watched some TV. All in all a good day. So why the bad dreams last night? 

tagged: apple laundry dream subpoena reichen otay anxious

Apparently because I didn’t acknowledge my previous subpoena fast enough I just now had one hand delivered at my front door by one of San Diego’s finest. What a way to start your day!

tagged: subpoena robbery

Happy Halloween!

Today is a good day, yeah? I find myself on a day off. I seem to be feeling a bit better. I didn’t sleep all day. I really thought I might though. Last night I didn’t make it much past ten before I made my way up to bed. I really thought I’d sleep my whole morning away, but I was up at 9. Earlier than usual! I feel more like me. This is a good thing, since I think Richard wants to do something after work. He is all dressed up as King Louis XVI. One of his co-workers is Marie Antoinette. Heheheh. I bet they are having a great time!

So anyhoo. I am trying to get all my chores out of the way just in case. I have some light shopping to do later and I also want to go see all the costumes no one bought or rented. Heh. I think that would be funny for a podcast. We’ll see. I also have to muster up the courage to call the District Attorney’s office regarding my subpoena. There is another trial next week and apparently I never responded to the subpoena. Oops. I wonder why… Could it be that I don’t want to fucking go?!?!? All of this still happening a year later really makes me question whether or not I’d call the police if something else ever happened to me. I mean if it’s over and you survive what’s the point? At least it’s over and you aren’t forced to relive it in a courtroom every 4 months with no end in sight.... Right. Well. This post lost its fun!

At any rate. Halloween is my least favorite holiday, ever since that year we were fed Beanie-Weinie for dinner before trick-or-treating and I threw up. It also marks the start of the holiday season retail roller-coaster ride. Up until this point we were being pulled to the top of the tracks. This weekend we go down that first hill. *shudder*

tagged: richard retail halloween subpoena