I finally got a hold of a real person at 8:15 to be sure work was not expecting me. I stayed with Richard all day. Sometimes holding him. Sometimes just sitting there with him as he stared at the wall. Chanel has been with Richard longer than me! The little cat was 13 years old and has been through a lot. He has always had health issues but we managed them. He was leading a pretty normal life, and was in great shape before this latest illness set in. In fact he behaved like a big kitten the last few years, since he could run and jump and play when for many years he couldn’t.

Anyway, he was to have an ultrasound in the afternoon. After that we were told we could visit, which we did. The doctor spoke to us first to discuss more tests beyond the ultrasound to find out what was going on. The ultrasound had been pretty inconclusive. After more tears (from both of us now) Richard agreed. After a bit we were able to see him. He was very sleepy from the sedatives but definitely feeling and looking more like himself. He had been severely dehydrated and after some time on the IV he appeared more normal. He recognized us and purred and head-butted Richard as best he could. He even wanted to jump off the table! We were hopeful as we left the hospital.

At about 11 last night Richard’s phone rang. My heart sunk. I heard only half of the conversation, but knew it was time to go. I gathered my wallet and keys. Richard was already waiting at the car. Saying goodbye was the hardest thing. First, I was surprised at how emotional I was. Then to see the man I love in so much pain… He hugged his cat and sobbed as they helped him along. His body was shutting down, and it was best that he be allowed to ‘go to sleep’. Richard’s cries tore my heart out.

When it was done they gave us a few minutes with him. I could plainly see that Chanel was gone. As I held onto my crushed man I reached over and covered Chanel with the blanket they had brought in. Richard cried out louder.

After a bit Richard was ready to go. I had to get him home. I went out to see what if anything they needed from us. They said we were clear to leave. As we passed through the waiting room there was an older couple. I will never forget the sympathetic pained look on the old woman as she watched Richard and clutched her husband. It was like she felt his pain.

Once at home we both cried on and off until we were able to sleep.